Blah.....

So I figured that post-vacation I'd be full of energy and excited to dive into all of the projects/ideas/plans, etc I had been thinking about while away for a month, but after I got home I couldn't find the energy to get into ANYTHING. I figured it was travel fatigue and that I'd shake it off in a week...or two...and yet here we are one month later and I am still not able to get myself to motivate to do anything.

I was worried for a bit that I am getting depressed, or even a bit of the "winter blues" as it happens to so many people, but I really don't think that's what this is....I'm not sure how to describe it other than just staying that I have a general feeling of "emotional fatigue"...I really just don't care about anything the way I did pre-trip. At work and even with my training I'm pretty much going through the motions and doing JUST what needs to be done to get by...not good. And not ME at all. And everything else, well, I just can't get myself to DO anything about these other projects/initiatives/ideas I'm involved in (or planned to be), and I don't even really care that I don't care!

Its a vicious, yucky cycle.

But I don't have the desire or energy to break it....I am trying to look at this as if I am hitting a few tough miles in a long race....not to beat the obvious "life as a race" metaphor to death but endurance races do lad you through great highs and big lows...I know in a long run when I am just feeling like crap for a few miles and I just want to stop and walk or even quit for the day, if I can just turn my mind off a bit and just go through the motions, I manage to fight my way out of the slump and a few miles later I am feeling good again.

So for now that's what I will try to do - (by the way, posting helps me clear my head on this stuff so this post is not meant to be a cry for attention or a red flag of concern for anyone!) I plan to go through the motions a bit as I would do on a run and hope that I can get through these rough miles and back to the good ones - sooner rather than later!!!